Exam’ing, take 2

I just wrote a ridiculously long post that was threatening to never end. So here’s the gist:

Exam’ing is hard but also amazing – it is a serious soul-searching activity. Thus, some conclusions:

Faculty are amazing. Not just academically / intellectually, but also for putting up with all us basket cases and for helping us grow, not just as academics, but as people. I am forever grateful for the changes my committee and other faculty have elicited from me.

I feel so incredibly honored and privileged to be in graduate school, and my department particularly. And people who cannot see that or who spend their time complaining and grousing – well, frankly, i have no patience – stuff a sock in it.

I am still convinced that i’m about to be “found out” – that someone is going to realize that i actually am not really that forward-thinking or that i have nothing to offer (or, that i’m just plain stupid). But i need to learn to have faith that my committee know what they’re doing and find a way to accept that i will make it as far as i make it.

My word! i’m still the luckiest girl i know! Even in the midst of the soul-wrenching process that is exam’ing.

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